My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
