i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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