I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just googled if crying burns calories
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
