I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
