you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
