oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
