and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
