I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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