your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
