I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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