I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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