if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
