I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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