I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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