You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize