I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
