Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
