we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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