I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
