Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
