i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
