haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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