She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
