The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
They are going to name an STD after you.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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