You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
