You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
