Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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