this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
