I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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