I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
