3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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