East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
