What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She told me I should be a condom model.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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