My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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