You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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