Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
