Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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