Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just want nice things and good sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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