Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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