im drinking this country out of the recession.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
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Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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