I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
