I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
