do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
