Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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