woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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