So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize