I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
