I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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