Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
