Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
