i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
