Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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