He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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