I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My first STD was from a foam party
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
