I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
