I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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