Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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