OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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